Chantix For Smoking

So I am taking Chantix to stop smoking and it's actually helping (I took it from my grandma's house after she died... a little morbid, I know)

Sometimes I get a little down and I think
Shit...my life sucks and I am a loser and my life is a fucking downer

Other times I feel like the goof balls in the Discovery Channel's new commercial

"I Love the World"

KIDS and DOGS don't mix with dinner

My kids, I have four of them, are completely insane tonight
They were singing Mexican fiesta type songs at dinner
The teenager, god bless her, joined us in a burping contest
The boy, as I like to call him, decided to pummel his younger sister
the table actually fell over, food and all.
And I just laughed and concentrated on burping through a straw into my fruity punch. ( It makes cute little bubbles)

The dog, Amy, ran in excited by the commotion and the fact that the floor was littered
with food particles..... she's already too fat I thought as I watched the scene that was going on right in front of me.
Green peas flew into the air and the dog actually caught a few midair (good dog :) )

I just concentrated on burping into my straw and pretended that none of this was going on .

Gynecologists

So we have all gone to the gyno, we've all felt a little uncomfortable with that COLD device.
We have all heard remarks we wish we hadn't heard
We've all counted the tiles on the ceiling

My thought is this:
Go to the gyno
get a hit of pot
lie down on the table
and have porn playing on the ceiling
At least we would have a little fun!!!

Some funny Dr remarks: http://www.radaronline.com/features/2008/04/gynecologists_exams_funniest_comments_01.php

THIS IS HOW I FEEL

Death Sucks....and it fucks with ALL aspects of your life, just when you think everything is OK,
SPLAT! you are hit in the face with more shit to deal with.

Highway to Hell

Basically I just think it would be hilarious if Santa Claus Died