Thursday, May 1, 2008
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Deathly Mysteries... finally answered
We, my family and I, had to deal with a steady stream of well wishers yesterday and today. People came from everywhere… people who loved my grandma….
The fascinating part was that there was NO stereo type, they were young, old, men, woman, rich and poor.
This just shows how NON judgmental my grandma is.
Sadly she died today, but it was not in pain, nor was it agony… It was the most peaceful experience I have witnessed.
We were at home with our family, someone was constantly with her… we were home, her home.
At the end…she gracefully took a gentle breath which was longer than usual and then another and then she kinda “played” with her tongue and then she was gone.
The beautiful part was that we were there….. Her daughter (my mom) her three grandchildren (including me) two great grandkids (out of 10) and my amazing dad, we watched her go and there was a slight smile on her face as we silently wept.
There IS more out there after you pass…I just know it!
I have to say….. Hospice is amazing! We could not have handled any of this without the help of Hospice
THANK YOU HOSPICE!!
The fascinating part was that there was NO stereo type, they were young, old, men, woman, rich and poor.
This just shows how NON judgmental my grandma is.
Sadly she died today, but it was not in pain, nor was it agony… It was the most peaceful experience I have witnessed.
We were at home with our family, someone was constantly with her… we were home, her home.
At the end…she gracefully took a gentle breath which was longer than usual and then another and then she kinda “played” with her tongue and then she was gone.
The beautiful part was that we were there….. Her daughter (my mom) her three grandchildren (including me) two great grandkids (out of 10) and my amazing dad, we watched her go and there was a slight smile on her face as we silently wept.
There IS more out there after you pass…I just know it!
I have to say….. Hospice is amazing! We could not have handled any of this without the help of Hospice
THANK YOU HOSPICE!!
Monday, April 28, 2008
Death and Guilt
I wonder, as I sit here facing death, if everybody beats themselves up over guilt.
Guilt is a pesky emotion that can overrule all other emotions,
it attacks your ability to love in an unconditional way,
and it interferes with the ability to accept …
It basically interferes with everything.
I don’t say this today because I am suicidal, depressed, or manic…. I say this because as I sit in the hospital watching my grandma die, I beat myself up because of things that I did a long time ago.
I beg for forgiveness
Rather than letting my love and appreciation shine through, I once again focus on the negative
Guilt is a pesky emotion that can overrule all other emotions,
it attacks your ability to love in an unconditional way,
and it interferes with the ability to accept …
It basically interferes with everything.
I don’t say this today because I am suicidal, depressed, or manic…. I say this because as I sit in the hospital watching my grandma die, I beat myself up because of things that I did a long time ago.
I beg for forgiveness
Rather than letting my love and appreciation shine through, I once again focus on the negative
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