Saturday, April 19, 2008

My big fat swollen eyes

Last night I cried for a few hours, it felt good... I mean it felt fucking fantastic!

But when I woke up today my eyes were so swollen from all the crying that I had to go to my kids soccer games with huge sunglasses and a hat.

Oh, I cheered like a good mother, but my mind wandered to a time when my boobs were undeveloped and I lacked any hair on my private parts. I remembered a time
when I doubted if I had bones and I cut my skin, just to make sure I had bones.

I wonder if I have bones
A sharp edge
Pushing …
Against my elephant skin
Blood
Yes, there it is… the blood
Red…
Warm…
Alive…
Pushing harder
Where are the bones?
Pushing harder….
A compulsion

**I found the above in a shoebox of stuff I had written during middle school

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Do you think you are fit to go to soccer games?
What do you kids think about you?

Being Bipolar Sucks said...

I am just as fit as any other moter going to watch their kids play soccer, I have four amazing well rounded children, so I am doing something right...
My mind just tends to wander, and I get wander lust and I lust for wandering thoughts